Stratozen vol. i: The Balanced Forces Of String and Sprang

Posted by Mad Stratter

January 2, 2008

Just as the Stratozen appears when the sun is highest in the sky, on the day when there is equal work-week both before and after, you must have balance in all aspects of your life.

You must balance thy drinking by going to Happy Hour on Monday as well as Friday. Just as you must balance thy boozing, you must also balance the ancient powers of String and Sprang.

After a deeply spiritual rocking experience, or after a set-up ritual to the bridge and tremolo chakras, especially the addition of more springs resulting in an increase in Sprang, but in a decrease in Sprang for each individual spring, you may find that using your whammy bar makes your ax creak and squeak.

Should you find yourself in such an unbalanced squeaky-sqwuaky state, try a clockwise rotation of the trem claw screws to increase your individual spring Sprang and reduce the creak-n’-squeak.

Only when the forces of String and Sprang are balanced can your rock & roll soul experience true squeekless Whammage and creakless divebombing freedom.

Go forth, my sons, and use this knowledge of the String and Sprang wisely.

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