…For the Mad Stratter Office
Tacky by my girlfriend’s taste, I don’t think this coffee table will be showing up in the Mad Stratter Office (a.k.a. my living room) anytime soon. But if you’ve got 48″ x 18″ and $299.99 to spare, you might want to think about it.
Stratozen, vol. ii: The Reactive Principle of the Whammy
Those brave pioneers of the sonic soul we call Stratocaster players hold in the palm of their right hands the awesome power of the Whammy. The Whammy gives he who wields it the power of direct control on the entire Stringy Sprangy Stratoverse.
Those who wield the Whammy must keep one important Stratozen principle in mind when practicing the sacred fret-hand art of bending: For every String action, there is an equal and opposite Sprang reaction, and also reversewise.
This is the very nature of the powerful Whammy, but the Mark of the Whammy is with the Strat player at all times, even when he is not using the Whammy. When he bends a String upward, the Sprang will follow it. This flow of the Sprang in the direction of the bend results in a buildup of Anti-Sprang in the non-bent Strings, which translates in this Earthly sonic realm to a decrease in pitch.
Thus is the nature of the awesome force of the Whammy. Take this knowledge, my friends, and use it wisely on your journey, and may all thy Whammying be enlightened by it.
Stratozen vol. i: The Balanced Forces Of String and Sprang
Just as the Stratozen appears when the sun is highest in the sky, on the day when there is equal work-week both before and after, you must have balance in all aspects of your life.
You must balance thy drinking by going to Happy Hour on Monday as well as Friday. Just as you must balance thy boozing, you must also balance the ancient powers of String and Sprang.
After a deeply spiritual rocking experience, or after a set-up ritual to the bridge and tremolo chakras, especially the addition of more springs resulting in an increase in Sprang, but in a decrease in Sprang for each individual spring, you may find that using your whammy bar makes your ax creak and squeak.
Should you find yourself in such an unbalanced squeaky-sqwuaky state, try a clockwise rotation of the trem claw screws to increase your individual spring Sprang and reduce the creak-n’-squeak.
Only when the forces of String and Sprang are balanced can your rock & roll soul experience true squeekless Whammage and creakless divebombing freedom.
Go forth, my sons, and use this knowledge of the String and Sprang wisely.
2008 Rock Resolution Project
I’ve never been big on the idea of New Year’s resolutions, but I figured that this year, rather than half-assed attempts at giving up the any of the vices I hold so near and dear, I though I’d come up with a few Rock Resolutions that I both both want to and can attain:
I’m still sketching out my goals for where I want to be in a year, but a few points I’ve got down so far are:
- Learn to play Stevie Ray Vaughan’s ‘Texas Flood‘ album in it’s entirety.
- Stop relying on my eyes to tell me where I am on the neck.
- Work on a solo/semi-solo (myself and a drummer) act for gigs. Dealing with bands has been such a pain in the ass this semester that I’m just going to get something together myself, and grow from there.
- Quit wasting all those fingers on my right hand and start puttin’ em to use.
As far as the Mad Stratter, my goals so far are to maintain a few steady, weekly columns:
- <hype machine> ‘Monday Morning Mojo’.
- Every Wednesday, bringing you to peace and tranquility through the power of ‘Stratozen’ .
- ‘Stratosphere Weekly’ every Friday, rounding up the happenings of the Stratocaster world, and covering the nuts & bolts stuff like set-up, hot-rodding and the like.</hype machine>
What are some of your Rock Resolutions for 2008? What suggestions do you have for me for the Mad Stratter website? For JP, Jason, Cary, IG and the rest of you brave pioneers of the guitar interwebs, what can we look forward to from your axe’s and your dubyadubyadubyadotcoms in the next year?
Ernie Ball Skinny Top Heavy Bottom
Thought typically a faithful D’Addario man, I’ve made a switch, atleast for the time being, to Ernie Ball Skinny Top Heavy Bottom
These strings, gauged .010, .013, .017, .030, .042 and .052, give me awesome slinkage for maximum bendiness, while preserving that fat chunkocity I’ve come to love .013 gauge D’Addarios for.
My only complaint is the unwound third, but I’m slowly getting used to that. That, and the fact that I stopped earning D’addario Players Points when I switched… and I’m only 3 sets of strings away from getting this pint glass!
